Green Flag / Red Flag · by Sophie Gagnon · 2026-10-30
My boyfriend shares custody of a dog with his ex and they have a Google Calendar for it
Together 5 months. My bf (34M) and his ex (also a guy, they were together 6 years) share a golden retriever named Waffles. Alternating weeks. There's a shared Google Calendar called "Waffles 🐶" with handoffs, vet appointments and a note that says "NO MORE PEANUT BUTTER, he's getting chunky."
They're friendly at handoffs, sometimes grab a coffee. The ex is seeing someone too. Nothing is shady, I've read the texts (he showed me, I didn't ask).
But last week I found out the ex still has a key to our apartment "for Waffles emergencies." I think the dog arrangement is mature and kind of sweet. The key I'm less sure about. Votes on both please
38 sparks · 20 comments
Comments
Curious Coder · 14 likes
Just ask for the key to go into a lockbox with a code. Emergencies still covered, nobody walks in on you
Oliver Smith · 0 likes
this is the adult solution. everybody wins, especially waffles
Achieng Njeri · 11 likes
can we get a picture of Waffles. for science
Priya Nair · 9 likes
fun fact, alaska, illinois and california have laws where judges can consider the animal's wellbeing when deciding pet custody in a divorce. waffles is basically ahead of the legal system
Achieng Njeri · 7 likes
waffles has a better custody arrangement than half my friends' kids
Sara Ahmed · 6 likes
NO MORE PEANUT BUTTER in all caps is the most passive aggressive co-parenting message possible and I love it
Maya Williams · 3 likes
he showed you the texts without you asking. that's huge actually
Valeria López · 2 likes
the key is a yellow flag on its way to becoming a green one apparently
Cian Kelly · 1 likes
Waffles calendar: green. Key: we need to talk about the key
Jisoo Park · 13 likes
the key is the only part that needs a conversation. dog stuff is just co-parenting
Ananya Rao · 0 likes
a guy who stayed on good terms with an ex of 6 years is a good sign. means he doesn't burn everything down when things end
Tola Ibrahim · 1 likes
or it means he never fully let go. could go either way
Cian Kelly · 1 likes
they put peanut butter rules in a shared calendar. that's not romance, that's logistics
Minji Kim · 0 likes
🔴 for the key. not because anything's happening but because it's your home now too and nobody asked you
Noah Johansson · 1 likes
exactly. "our apartment" means you get a vote on who has keys
Noé Petit · 0 likes
I was the ex in a situation like this. my ex's new partner asked for the key back politely and I gave it back immediately, no drama. if the ex is reasonable this is a 2 minute conversation
Tomás Gómez · 2 likes
this made me feel a lot better ngl
Noah Miller · 7 likes
OP here, talked to him last night. he said "oh god you're right" and he's getting it back this weekend. lockbox is happening
Mariana Costa · 7 likes
green flag on the response then. that's all you want