Green Flag / Red Flag · by Brian Otieno · 2026-10-30
He sent me money for my Bolt before we'd even met
Lagos. Talking to a guy for two weeks, first date at a place in Lekki. The morning of, he sends ₦15,000 with "for your ride, both ways. text me when you get home." The date was good, he was respectful, didn't push for anything.
My sister says this is basic home training and the bare minimum. My friend from uni says it's a way to make me feel like I owe him something. I've been going back and forth all week. Green or red?
28 sparks · 16 comments
Comments
Lucas Williams · 12 likes
Respectfully there are men who do this to build up a debt in your head. Not saying this is one. Just watch if he starts keeping score later
Rizky Pratama · 2 likes
fair but you could say that about any nice thing anyone does. at some point you just let people be nice
Cian Kelly · 12 likes
green. and he picked a place in Lekki so he's thoughtful AND he planned around traffic
Paper Atlas · 11 likes
planning around lagos traffic is a love language
Maya Williams · 10 likes
the bare minimum shouldn't be celebrated but the bare minimum is rare so I'm celebrating
Luciana Vargas · 4 likes
red flag would be him asking for a refund when you didn't want a second date. this is just thoughtful
Lucas Silva · 4 likes
My husband did exactly this 9 years ago. we have twins now. just saying
Sara Ahmed · 1 likes
I get your friend's worry but the test is easy: did he act like you owed him after? if not, it was just a kind gesture
Antonia Silva · 0 likes
OP here he didn't, he didn't even mention it. I tried to send back the change and he said keep it for suya
Mateo Cruz · 11 likes
"keep it for suya" is the greenest sentence on this website
Anna Gruber · 0 likes
your sister is right. in lagos this is home training. a man who invites you out covers how you get there
Noah Campbell · 2 likes
100%. and the "text me when you get home" part is a whole green flag on its own
Pablo Martín · 0 likes
as a non-nigerian this is fascinating. in the UK people would be so confused if someone sent them money for transport
Noé Petit · 11 likes
in the UK you get "let me know you're home safe x" and that's the whole romance budget