Green Flag / Red Flag · by Noah Miller · 2026-10-29

He's 33, lives with his mamma, and she still irons his boxers

Naples. I'm 31F, from Lisbon, been here 3 years for work. Dating a guy for 5 months. He's an engineer, good salary, lovely, funny. He lives with his mother in Vomero. She cooks for him every day, irons all his clothes including his boxers, and calls him "amore di mamma" in front of me.

He says moving out would be stupid because rent in Naples has gone crazy and he's saving to buy a place, which he says is normal here. My Italian colleagues say yes, it is normal.

But the one time I stayed over (she was at her sister's) the sheets were clearly ironed too. I couldn't relax.

Red because mammone, or green because he's financially smart and loves his mom? I can't decide

20 sparks · 13 comments

Comments

Tiny Baker · 9 likes

the ironed sheets for the one sleepover is the most powerful mother in law move I've ever heard. she wasn't even there and she was there

Valeria López · 7 likes

it's not the living with mom. it's that he doesn't iron his own boxers at 33. when you move in together do you become mamma 2

Arif Hasan · 0 likes

OP here, I asked if he knows how to iron. he said "in theory"

Cozy Fern · 1 likes

that's your answer

Lucas Silva · 0 likes

"in theory" 💀

Sara Al Nuaimi · 6 likes

Spanish here, same story in Madrid. rent is insane. saving to buy is smart. green

Wanjiku Mwangi · 5 likes

if she calls him amore di mamma in front of you at 5 months, wait until the wedding

Isha Menon · 3 likes

ask him to iron one shirt in front of you. purely for science

An Pham · 2 likes

US perspective: a 33 year old engineer with a good salary living at home would be a red flag for most women here. I know it's culture dependent but that's how it is

Paper Atlas · 3 likes

and yet a huge chunk of americans in their 20s live with their parents now. it's the economy, nobody likes to admit it

Khalid Al Zahrani · 2 likes

my portuguese mother would do all of this for my brother and he's a great husband now. the real test is whether he moves out when it's time

Oliver Smith · 1 likes

financially smart and loves his mom are two green flags. the boxers are a beige flag

Olena Shevchenko · 0 likes

Italian here. half my friends over 30 live with their parents. it's not mammone, it's rent. the boxers though... ok that part is mammone